Ten Years

My Love,

How can it be that we have already shared ten years together? When people told us at our wedding "you'll blink, and it will go by that fast . . . " I thought I knew better. I mean,  ten years was such a long time. In some ways, it has felt like you have always been here. In other ways, it feels like just yesterday you walked into the radio station office, and Joe introduced me to "his good friend Nate" with a wink and a nudge.

You were tall and skinny, shy, with an infectious laugh, and gorgeous eyes. Over the next few months, I learned that you were fresh out of college, living with your parents, working third shift at a retail store, spent your free time playing video games, and loathed camping, dogs (or any pets, really), and any food with flavor. How exactly did Joe see this playing out?

I am so thankful that God delighted to bring us together. Who better than Jesus to take two people as different as different could be, and bring them together for his glory? We always said we were glad he was smarter than we were. :)

It may have taken some convincing on both our parts in the beginning, but we soon grew to realize the gift we had been given in each other. I, for one, had come to see that beneath your playful, everything-football-loving, competitive veneer, was a man I could follow for the rest of my life.

 You have deep convictions, and a strong will, which gives you the strength to hold fast to those convictions when it's difficult. You are fiercely loyal, which makes you a steadfast friend, and also a trustworthy confidant. You are a hard worker - when you take something on, you don't give up, and won't settle for anything less than perfection. You are not a man of many words, but when you do have something to say, you are thoughtful and I take notice.

You are patient with me. You "lay down your life for me", as Christ did for his Bride, the Church - and serve our family in ways that no one except God will ever see. You are tender with me - and compassionate when I am suffering. Over the years, our version of romance has deepened, and you continue to show me that you love me in practical, and sometimes lavish ways.

By God's grace, you have been faithful to me through more "life" than I ever knew could be packed into ten years. Through four pregnancies, along with the morning sickness, sleepless nights, and newborn fog that accompanied them. The emotional strain of financial uncertainty, and more recently, the upheaval of living in two states simultaneously, and then learning to live together as a family unit once more. Watching close friends' marriages crumble, and even the grief of tumultuous situations within our church body. Through all of this, your eyes have never wandered, and you have never turned to another.

I am grateful to you, for all the laughter you have filled our home with, and the joy surrounds our family each time you come home to cries of "Daddy's HOME!" For all the times you have collaborated to whisk me away for an evening, a weekend, or sometimes just a moment with a kiss. You remind me that I am your beloved bride, and you still see me as beautiful and precious to you when you come in to a woman still in pajamas, disheveled hair, and crying children clinging to her body.

Our marriage has been more work than I ever thought possible, and has created more growth in me than I ever knew I would be capable of. It is true that marriage is a crucible the Lord uses to bring about his purposes of making us more into the image of Jesus. We are not the same people we were when we walked down the aisle ten years ago, and for that I am so incredibly grateful. Prayerfully, our marriage is also a story for the world to see on display the goodness of God toward two needy, sinful people, who depend on his grace every moment.

We had grand ideas for ways we would celebrate this milestone in our marriage - and we ended up celebrating it in a quiet, comfortable way that left both of us content, and grateful for one another.

10 years later, a family Anniversary celebration

We've only just begun, my Love, and I am looking forward to spending the rest of our days together. May we grow in grace, and in faithfulness toward Christ first, and then toward each other. May we continue to depend on Him to be our deepest joy, so that in turn we can serve each other out of love, and not a desire to have our needs met in anyone besides the Lord. I am so glad you are mine.

"Therefore, throughout life, no matter what may lie ahead of us, I pledge to you my life."

I still do.

<3<3<3

Wedding photos by: Angel Eyes Photography

Facebook Sabbatical

Technology is amazing. I am 31 years old, and I can remember our family's first "car phone."  I remember when my Dad first got a computer for our home, and I remember when the internet was a new thing. I remember when cordless phones and caller ID were a big thing! It makes me feel old in some ways, and in some ways, gives me the advantage to see how technology is changing our society.

When I was a child, an iPhone would have seemed like something out of Star Trek. Yet here we are, with the world at our fingertips, literally. I can keep in touch with a friend in the Philippines, or friends from growing up years who live all over the United States, friends who live in the UAE, and friends who lived in China, all through the internet, using a device small enough to carry around in my pocket. Friends and family have watched my children grow up via pictures and videos shared online.

After reading an article by Tony Reinke several years ago, "Six Ways Your Phone Is Changing You", I have been challenged to think more carefully about the time I spend on my phone. There are seasons where I use it more often (I'm looking at you, middle-of-the-night-nursing-sessions) and seasons where I keep it in a drawer during the day unless I am expecting a phone call. Ironically, using my iPhone as a phone is rare.

Recently, I've been reflecting on my personal habits with my phone. I realized that anytime I had a period of being still, even if only for a few minutes, I would whip out my phone and click on Facebook. Almost instinctively. I have always been vigilant about guarding family time, meal times, etc from phone usage, yet during the day, I had it with me all the time. I often heard someone asking "Mommy?" and would look up from my phone to whatever child needed me. It was humbling to think of the image my kids had of a Mommy with her nose in the phone all the time.

Now, has my phone made my life easier? Absolutely! This is not a commentary on the evils of the smart phone. Rather, I am choosing to make some hard observations about the way I am allowing it to affect my behavior. I am not going to go back to the dark ages to eliminate the temptation to use my iPhone - the tendencies would still be there, just beneath the surface. In a culture of "all about me, all the time" mentality, we have Instagram, and Twitter, and Facebook to let everyone know how we feel, and what we think, and who we're with, etc etc all the time. Just because I don't have a smart phone, it doesn't mean those impulses will magically disappear.

That being said, I have found that for me, Facebook was becoming a means of superficial engagement. Instead of picking up the phone and making an effort to have a real conversation with someone, or even write them an email, I would swipe through Facebook "I wonder how so-and-so is doing?" Again, I want to be careful here to stress that catching glimpses of people's lives via Facebook is not wrong! However, those glimpses are often not "real life", but only what people want us to see. I want to be more intentional to use my energy toward building real relationships with people by calling, writing, and spending real one on one time with them.

When the school year began, I made the decision to stay off of Facebook for a while. Since we "become what we behold", I want to behold more of Jesus with my time.

That being said, I am hoping to continue to blog more often, because writing is good for me, but it is also a discipline (for those who enjoy keeping up with our family this way, I will include more photos as well!). I will check Facebook once a week, on Wednesdays, and will also plan to post a blog update weekly. I will still occasionally be posting photos, but just not as often on Facebook. I am looking forward to making an effort toward meaningful face-to-face relationships, and more intentional interaction toward those who are long distance.

I encourage you to pause today and evaluate the way your phone is changing you. Are you using it in healthy ways? Or does your phone control you?

Grace and Peace,
Amanda

12 Ways Your Phone Is Changing You from Desiring God on Vimeo.