Ten Years

My Love,

How can it be that we have already shared ten years together? When people told us at our wedding "you'll blink, and it will go by that fast . . . " I thought I knew better. I mean,  ten years was such a long time. In some ways, it has felt like you have always been here. In other ways, it feels like just yesterday you walked into the radio station office, and Joe introduced me to "his good friend Nate" with a wink and a nudge.

You were tall and skinny, shy, with an infectious laugh, and gorgeous eyes. Over the next few months, I learned that you were fresh out of college, living with your parents, working third shift at a retail store, spent your free time playing video games, and loathed camping, dogs (or any pets, really), and any food with flavor. How exactly did Joe see this playing out?

I am so thankful that God delighted to bring us together. Who better than Jesus to take two people as different as different could be, and bring them together for his glory? We always said we were glad he was smarter than we were. :)

It may have taken some convincing on both our parts in the beginning, but we soon grew to realize the gift we had been given in each other. I, for one, had come to see that beneath your playful, everything-football-loving, competitive veneer, was a man I could follow for the rest of my life.

 You have deep convictions, and a strong will, which gives you the strength to hold fast to those convictions when it's difficult. You are fiercely loyal, which makes you a steadfast friend, and also a trustworthy confidant. You are a hard worker - when you take something on, you don't give up, and won't settle for anything less than perfection. You are not a man of many words, but when you do have something to say, you are thoughtful and I take notice.

You are patient with me. You "lay down your life for me", as Christ did for his Bride, the Church - and serve our family in ways that no one except God will ever see. You are tender with me - and compassionate when I am suffering. Over the years, our version of romance has deepened, and you continue to show me that you love me in practical, and sometimes lavish ways.

By God's grace, you have been faithful to me through more "life" than I ever knew could be packed into ten years. Through four pregnancies, along with the morning sickness, sleepless nights, and newborn fog that accompanied them. The emotional strain of financial uncertainty, and more recently, the upheaval of living in two states simultaneously, and then learning to live together as a family unit once more. Watching close friends' marriages crumble, and even the grief of tumultuous situations within our church body. Through all of this, your eyes have never wandered, and you have never turned to another.

I am grateful to you, for all the laughter you have filled our home with, and the joy surrounds our family each time you come home to cries of "Daddy's HOME!" For all the times you have collaborated to whisk me away for an evening, a weekend, or sometimes just a moment with a kiss. You remind me that I am your beloved bride, and you still see me as beautiful and precious to you when you come in to a woman still in pajamas, disheveled hair, and crying children clinging to her body.

Our marriage has been more work than I ever thought possible, and has created more growth in me than I ever knew I would be capable of. It is true that marriage is a crucible the Lord uses to bring about his purposes of making us more into the image of Jesus. We are not the same people we were when we walked down the aisle ten years ago, and for that I am so incredibly grateful. Prayerfully, our marriage is also a story for the world to see on display the goodness of God toward two needy, sinful people, who depend on his grace every moment.

We had grand ideas for ways we would celebrate this milestone in our marriage - and we ended up celebrating it in a quiet, comfortable way that left both of us content, and grateful for one another.

10 years later, a family Anniversary celebration

We've only just begun, my Love, and I am looking forward to spending the rest of our days together. May we grow in grace, and in faithfulness toward Christ first, and then toward each other. May we continue to depend on Him to be our deepest joy, so that in turn we can serve each other out of love, and not a desire to have our needs met in anyone besides the Lord. I am so glad you are mine.

"Therefore, throughout life, no matter what may lie ahead of us, I pledge to you my life."

I still do.

<3<3<3

Wedding photos by: Angel Eyes Photography

What a Year Can Bring

I began this blog one year ago today, and I thought I'd commemorate the event with, what else?  Another post.  :)

I started writing here as a place to share my thoughts, however random they might be - to share life with others, and hopefully glean a thing or two along the way.  I haven't been as intentional about writing as I'd hoped to be, and while I don't regret spending less time on the computer, part of my goal for this blog was to literally just write more.  Time to re-evaluate and move forward!

What an amazing year it has been.  It's hard to believe that's all the time that has passed, to tell you the truth.  I now have a little girl who seems so grown up.  At nearly 18 months, she's talking (although much of it is still only remotely intelligible), plays dress up, sings and dances, "reads" books, and can <help> set the table.  :)  My heart swells to the point of bursting every time I look at her with her dimpled smile and curly hair.  I am so incredibly blessed, and amazed that she's mine.

It's amazing what a year can teach you.  I've learned so much about being too self-reliant.  Trying too hard to do things on my own strength, instead of living with grace, toward myself as much as toward others.  I've learned as a Mother (perhaps not for the last time!) that I can't always "fix" everything.  Sometimes my little girl just has to deal with the consequences of being naughty.  Sometimes I can't make the tears from the teething go away.  Sometimes I can't ease her frustration when she's trying to learn something new.  The thing is, I learned that not only is it okay, sometimes it's necessary!  I think about how God "parents" me, and how so many times he lovingly shepherds me the same way.

This year my husband celebrated a milestone birthday, and I realized all over again how deeply I love this compassionate, patient, incredible man that I am privileged to spend yet another year with.  I am still in awe that God brought us together.  This year we will celebrate half a decade of marriage (sounds like so much longer than 5 years!).  ;)  I am amazed that he chose me, of all the girls he could have chosen, and so thankful to belong to such a gracious, tender-hearted man as Nate.

This year has taught us a lot about our marriage as well.  We've learned that marriage is about more than servanthood, it's even about more than modeling what real love looks like day in and day out.  At it's core, our marriage is designed by God to mirror Christ and his relationship with the Church.  A high calling!  A radical one, in the eyes of our culture, and one that we cry out for strength daily to achieve.  It can never happen through our effort alone.

This year been one of sojourning for us as well.  We are no nearer to finding a permanent church family to call home, and while we are discouraged, we have not lost hope!  We continue to seek God's face as we know that His plan is perfect, and our ultimate desire is to glorify Him with our decision, and with all that follows.

A year goes by so quickly!  It's true what they say: the older you get, the faster time goes!  :)  What has this past year brought you?  I'd love to hear your thoughts!

To the journey,
~Amanda

30 Day Husband Encouragement Challenge

Love.  A single word in the English language with thousands of definitions.  I love chocolate ice cream.  I would love to go to a Cubs game.  I love my husband.  Hmm.  Wait a second!

Several weeks ago I began thinking about the way I use this word so flippantly, and I decided that I probably don't use it well in my marriage.  Just because I told my husband I loved him, did he really believe that I did?  Now don't get me wrong, I don't think that by saying I "love" to do certain things, that I'm automatically equating my husband with chocolate ice cream, or baseball.  However, I do all too often use the phrase without thinking about what I'm saying, thus devaluing it of it's true meaning.

 On the inside of my wedding band, I have 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 inscribed.  It talks about all the things that define true love, and serves as a daily reminder to me of how I should be loving my husband.  When I measure myself by this standard, I fall shockingly short!  All too often I found myself getting angry over petty things.  "I can't believe I have to do _____________ again!  Why do all these responsibilities get dumped on me?"  Love is patient and kind . . .

"It's so frustrating that he won't spend more time with us as a family.  Why do his priorities always have to come first?"  Love is not irritable or resentful . . .

The list could go on and on.  I had become so caught up with frustration, and dissatisfaction, that I wasn't able to enjoy my husband for the incredible man that he is.  God began quietly convicting me that the problem did not lie with my husband, but with my heart.  At first, I responded with annoyance.  I felt like a child again, being scolded for something I had done, and pointing to my little sister.  "Don't forget about her!  What she did was worse!"  But alas, it is not up to me to judge my husband's heart, only to let God cleanse and shape my own.

Enter the 30 Day Husband Encouragement Challenge.  I had been listening to the radio one morning, and heard one of the on-air personalities talking about this challenge that she had seen on Facebook.  The more she talked about it, the more I thought I really should investigate it for myself.  Since it happened to be the first day of the month, I thought, "Oh sure, why not at least give it a shot?"

I am so glad I did!  For 30 days, I was not allowed to say anything negative to, or about my husband to anyone else.  After signing up to take part, the challenge website e-mailed me daily reminders about the challenge, and had a specific focus for each day.  There were specific scriptures that went with each day, and a reminder to seek God through the challenge, and not attempt it on my own strength - which of course, would only end in failure.  There were days when it was easy to encourage my husband.  I could tell him about the things that I appreciated so much about him, or even better, praise him to someone else while he was listening!

There were other days where it was more difficult to bite my tongue.  So often, especially as women, we run to others when we're upset about something for vindication, and affirmation.  It is especially easy to do when we're frustrated with our husbands.  The challenge hinges on this concept of banishing all negativity from your vocabulary.  It was so hard for me to do at times!  God led me to read through the book of James, where he talks about blessing God, and yet cursing people, who are made in his image.  What a contradiction!  Negativity and criticism are poison to a marriage.  They deflate my husband's spirit faster than a needle deflates a balloon.  This challenge brought about significant changes in our relationship.

When I began, I really expected to see the majority of change coming from my husband.  I was looking for changes in his behavior, or waiting for him to "notice" how nice I was being.  Sounds ridiculous, but true.

To my surprise, and shame, I began to see that the changes were happening in my own life.  When I stopped focusing on his faults and shortcomings, and instead shifted my focus to God's unchanging promises and purposes for him,  I began to see him through his Father's eyes instead of who I wanted him to be.

I have always known since our marriage began that it is not up to me to "change" my husband.  It is not my job to "train" him, or make him into super-father-husband, who can fulfill my every need and desire, all while leaping tall buildings in a single bound!  In other words, this was not a new concept for me.  However, I justify my behavior too often by using the "I'm not trying to tell him what to do, but that doesn't mean I can't be angry with him!" line.

By the grace of God, I am now able to get past the issues that bothered me so much, and instead appreciate the incredible gift of my husband.  God made me and my husband specifically to be with each other, no matter how our personalities might sometimes clash.  When I think about that sovereign plan, I am in awe that I serve a God who knew before the earth's beginnings that we would be here now, serving him together.

Encouragement is true love in action.  Ladies, this stuff works!  If you're interested in finding out more about the challenge, you can sign up here.  I'd love to know what things you've implemented into your relationships to help you love your man better!  Leave a comment to share your tips.

Photos by Hilda Burke, of Angel Eyes Photography