Facebook Sabbatical

Technology is amazing. I am 31 years old, and I can remember our family's first "car phone."  I remember when my Dad first got a computer for our home, and I remember when the internet was a new thing. I remember when cordless phones and caller ID were a big thing! It makes me feel old in some ways, and in some ways, gives me the advantage to see how technology is changing our society.

When I was a child, an iPhone would have seemed like something out of Star Trek. Yet here we are, with the world at our fingertips, literally. I can keep in touch with a friend in the Philippines, or friends from growing up years who live all over the United States, friends who live in the UAE, and friends who lived in China, all through the internet, using a device small enough to carry around in my pocket. Friends and family have watched my children grow up via pictures and videos shared online.

After reading an article by Tony Reinke several years ago, "Six Ways Your Phone Is Changing You", I have been challenged to think more carefully about the time I spend on my phone. There are seasons where I use it more often (I'm looking at you, middle-of-the-night-nursing-sessions) and seasons where I keep it in a drawer during the day unless I am expecting a phone call. Ironically, using my iPhone as a phone is rare.

Recently, I've been reflecting on my personal habits with my phone. I realized that anytime I had a period of being still, even if only for a few minutes, I would whip out my phone and click on Facebook. Almost instinctively. I have always been vigilant about guarding family time, meal times, etc from phone usage, yet during the day, I had it with me all the time. I often heard someone asking "Mommy?" and would look up from my phone to whatever child needed me. It was humbling to think of the image my kids had of a Mommy with her nose in the phone all the time.

Now, has my phone made my life easier? Absolutely! This is not a commentary on the evils of the smart phone. Rather, I am choosing to make some hard observations about the way I am allowing it to affect my behavior. I am not going to go back to the dark ages to eliminate the temptation to use my iPhone - the tendencies would still be there, just beneath the surface. In a culture of "all about me, all the time" mentality, we have Instagram, and Twitter, and Facebook to let everyone know how we feel, and what we think, and who we're with, etc etc all the time. Just because I don't have a smart phone, it doesn't mean those impulses will magically disappear.

That being said, I have found that for me, Facebook was becoming a means of superficial engagement. Instead of picking up the phone and making an effort to have a real conversation with someone, or even write them an email, I would swipe through Facebook "I wonder how so-and-so is doing?" Again, I want to be careful here to stress that catching glimpses of people's lives via Facebook is not wrong! However, those glimpses are often not "real life", but only what people want us to see. I want to be more intentional to use my energy toward building real relationships with people by calling, writing, and spending real one on one time with them.

When the school year began, I made the decision to stay off of Facebook for a while. Since we "become what we behold", I want to behold more of Jesus with my time.

That being said, I am hoping to continue to blog more often, because writing is good for me, but it is also a discipline (for those who enjoy keeping up with our family this way, I will include more photos as well!). I will check Facebook once a week, on Wednesdays, and will also plan to post a blog update weekly. I will still occasionally be posting photos, but just not as often on Facebook. I am looking forward to making an effort toward meaningful face-to-face relationships, and more intentional interaction toward those who are long distance.

I encourage you to pause today and evaluate the way your phone is changing you. Are you using it in healthy ways? Or does your phone control you?

Grace and Peace,
Amanda

12 Ways Your Phone Is Changing You from Desiring God on Vimeo.

What a Year Can Bring

I began this blog one year ago today, and I thought I'd commemorate the event with, what else?  Another post.  :)

I started writing here as a place to share my thoughts, however random they might be - to share life with others, and hopefully glean a thing or two along the way.  I haven't been as intentional about writing as I'd hoped to be, and while I don't regret spending less time on the computer, part of my goal for this blog was to literally just write more.  Time to re-evaluate and move forward!

What an amazing year it has been.  It's hard to believe that's all the time that has passed, to tell you the truth.  I now have a little girl who seems so grown up.  At nearly 18 months, she's talking (although much of it is still only remotely intelligible), plays dress up, sings and dances, "reads" books, and can <help> set the table.  :)  My heart swells to the point of bursting every time I look at her with her dimpled smile and curly hair.  I am so incredibly blessed, and amazed that she's mine.

It's amazing what a year can teach you.  I've learned so much about being too self-reliant.  Trying too hard to do things on my own strength, instead of living with grace, toward myself as much as toward others.  I've learned as a Mother (perhaps not for the last time!) that I can't always "fix" everything.  Sometimes my little girl just has to deal with the consequences of being naughty.  Sometimes I can't make the tears from the teething go away.  Sometimes I can't ease her frustration when she's trying to learn something new.  The thing is, I learned that not only is it okay, sometimes it's necessary!  I think about how God "parents" me, and how so many times he lovingly shepherds me the same way.

This year my husband celebrated a milestone birthday, and I realized all over again how deeply I love this compassionate, patient, incredible man that I am privileged to spend yet another year with.  I am still in awe that God brought us together.  This year we will celebrate half a decade of marriage (sounds like so much longer than 5 years!).  ;)  I am amazed that he chose me, of all the girls he could have chosen, and so thankful to belong to such a gracious, tender-hearted man as Nate.

This year has taught us a lot about our marriage as well.  We've learned that marriage is about more than servanthood, it's even about more than modeling what real love looks like day in and day out.  At it's core, our marriage is designed by God to mirror Christ and his relationship with the Church.  A high calling!  A radical one, in the eyes of our culture, and one that we cry out for strength daily to achieve.  It can never happen through our effort alone.

This year been one of sojourning for us as well.  We are no nearer to finding a permanent church family to call home, and while we are discouraged, we have not lost hope!  We continue to seek God's face as we know that His plan is perfect, and our ultimate desire is to glorify Him with our decision, and with all that follows.

A year goes by so quickly!  It's true what they say: the older you get, the faster time goes!  :)  What has this past year brought you?  I'd love to hear your thoughts!

To the journey,
~Amanda

I'm Back!

It feels like it has been ages since I've last posted - partly because of the holidays (I know, that was like, half a year ago!), and partly because my computer finally crashed.  For Christmas this year, Nate and I decided to forgo exchanging gifts with each other in favor of purchasing an iPad instead.  It has been lovely to use - almost as convenient as a laptop, except for (alas!) its lack of blogging capabilities.

So, all that to say, my husband promised me some time to blog this weekend, and instead, I waited until 11:40 pm on a Sunday night to start a new post.  Maybe one of these days I will kick this procrastination thing permanently! 

There have been lots of life events since I last wrote.  I have a little girl who is very much a toddler now.  We celebrated her first birthday in March, and she is ever so close to walking.  She is my pride and joy, and also the source of early gray hairs.  A childhood friend of my husband's has recently married, and Nate was honored as the best man in the wedding ceremony.  I love witnessing true, Christ-centered love come together in its purest form during a wedding ceremony!  I am so happy for both the Bride and Groom, and I can't wait to watch their life unfold together now, as they serve God according to his purposes for their marriage.

Friends, I have so much to tell you, and share, and much to catch up on to cover the past several months.  For now, I will just say that I am blessed beyond my imagination, and so privileged to be living the life that I am.  I hope to fill all of you in soon!  I will have to nab every opportunity I get at using an actual computer, and not something that most of the internet recognizes as a "mobile" device.

What about all of you?  What has been going on in your lives lately?  I can't wait to hear!

Grace and Peace,
 - Amanda

Retro(spect) Volume 1

Sometimes life has a way of making you feel wistful for the old days.  I was chatting with my Dad today, who has courageously gone back to school as a full time student, and was reading some heavy (depressing) literature for one of his classes.  He called me just to tell me his missed me, and it got me thinking about all those times from my childhood - the things we laugh about now, that were etched into our memories as classic family tales.  Since my family lives out of state, we don't get to see each other as often as we'd like, but we're still a very close knit bunch.  I am so blessed to be in a family where even if we don't always agree with each other, we love (and enjoy being with) each other always.  Even during the infamous teenage years, when most kids can't stand being seen in public with their parents (or younger siblings), my sister and I would relish the opportunity to spend a special day out with Mom & Dad.

I wish we lived closer, but sharing favorite family memories somehow has the ability to make those miles shrink ever so slightly, just for a moment.  Well Dad, I thought I'd give you something a little more lighthearted to read, in hopes of brightening your day a little, and helping you feel a little closer to your girls.  :)

The Kite:

It was a cloudy, blustery day in March, and I was so anxious to get home I could hardly stand it.  We were returning from a relatively short trip to Wal-Mart.  I say relatively short, because shopping with my Dad was never a quick trip.  Shopping is something of a quest when you go with Dad.  On this particular day, we went in search of a kite for my sister and me.

We had both ended up with identical, pink Barbie kites.  They were perfect.  We got home and, with Dad's help, assembled them.  This was no easy task!  The kites came with flimsy plastic rods that had to be threaded through the backs of the kites in order to give them enough structure to fly.  And of course, there were the tails.  They looked like someone had cut up a black garbage bag with a pair of squiggly scissors, and sneaked it into the kite packaging.  Nonetheless, they were attached to the bottoms of our kites, and with squealing anticipation, we got our jackets on to go outside and test them out.

My parents had recently built a home on the rural side of town, and while we had a large front yard, the landscape was still littered with plenty of trees and across the street, telephone poles complete with large, heavy wires draped in long arches high above the ground.  My Mom logically suggested we wait for a day when we could all go to the park together to fly the kites.  We saw the reason in this.  But what is it to be eight years old without an occasional indulgence in instant gratification?  After all, it was a perfectly windy day, and we didn't have to let the kites get up too high.  Mom consented with Dad's promise of supervision.

So there we were - the moment of truth!  Mom was strategically positioned behind the large picture window in the front of the house, video camera running, ready to forever memorialize the momentous occasion.  Dad helped my younger sister get hers up in the air.  She was, after all, the baby in the family, and the youngest always go first.  Her kite wobbled a little, and then with the next gust of wind was airborn.  She stood with the string, hanging on tight as she giggled with satisfaction.  Then it was my turn.  I stood in the middle of the street, with the string in my hands, and Dad on the other end holding my kite.  "Okay, GO!" he shouted.  We both ran, and there went my kite!  I was giddy!

After a few minutes of sheer joy, the wind began playing games with us.  First, my sister's kite was in peril.  "Run!  Keep it up!" my Dad yelled instructions.  It was no use.  Her kite ended up in the trees across the street.  No matter, Dad came to the rescue.  My sister waited patiently for her kite to be freed from its branchy prison.  Then, disaster struck.  My kite began to flutter in free fall.  I ran, and managed to keep it up for a few seconds more . . . just long enough for it to drift into the trees!  I began to whimper, and Dad reassured me that he would get to mine as soon as my sister's was free.  Just be patient, he said.

I was never one to be associated with the patient type.  Dad was really having a time of it, wrestling the tree's hold on the kite string, but he was winning - inch by inch.  After watching this for a couple of minutes, I decided to give it a go with my own kite.  After all, I was eight years old.  How hard could it be?  I began to tug, gently at first, then a little harder.  My kite budged.  It was working!  My sister's kite fluttered free - Dad had fought the trees and won!  Now if I could just tug a little . . . bit . . . more . . . It was almost free!

Then the unthinkable happened.  My string snapped off!  I crumpled to my knees in utter disbelief, totally crushed.  I wailed in despair "my kite . . . my kite!"  much the way someone wails when they lose a pet, or a loved one.  This was serious stuff, people.  Dad looked in my direction, not really sure what had just transpired.  "It's okay, Amanda - we can get you another one later."  He tried to comfort me, but it was no use.  No other kite could possibly be as perfect as this pink, Barbie, 99 cent kite.  And to make matters worse, my sister still had hers!  No, this was the end.  The end of my happy childhood as I knew it.  I was inconsolable.  I wandered into the house, my vision blurred from tears, and still sobbing, relayed the whole tragedy to my Mom, still behind the window, camera still rolling.  Mom said that it was too bad I hadn't waited for my Dad, like my sister had.  "Sorry, Honey.  Now go to your room until you can get yourself under control."

That's all the sympathy I get?  Inconceivable!  I went to my room, and flung myself onto my bed, sobbing into my pillow.  I would die all alone, without ever having any fun again.

And behold, the peak of my career in childhood melodrama was achieved!  I did, in fact, go on to fly many more kites over the course of my growing up years.  To this day, when the trees have all shed their leaves, you can still see a bit of black garbage bag looking debris fluttering in the wind across the street from my parent's house.  The infamous kite lives on!

The Reason Why

Writing is like breathing for me.  It's been so long since I've come up for air, I've almost forgotten what it feels like.  This blog will hopefully be a place where I can stretch those breathing muscles now and again, preserve some of my more intelligent ramblings, and who knows?  Maybe even learn a few things!

I don't pretend to be profound, or even knowledgeable.  I am merely a small, created mind trying to grasp the mysteries of her Creator.  I want to be transparent as I share what I have learned, and am continuing to learn.  I want this to be a place where others feel free to impart their wisdom as well - and perhaps even hold me accountable.  Wisdom cries out in the streets, and I am praying for the ears to hear her.  She is worth far more than rubies!  (Proverbs 8)  I know she resides in many of those around me, and to be given some of that wealth through advice, stories, or life experience would be a precious gift indeed.  I welcome your comments!

I plan to share as much of my life, as often as my life allows.  I am, and will always be committed to my family first, and as the internet tends to be the mother of all distractions, I will guard against letting it consume too much of the time that I have to offer in service to them first.  I want to know that I have invested all that I could, however feebly, into the health and growth of their faith.

I pray that this will be a ministry to some, and sow seeds to many, for the glory of the God who gave me the ability to write at all.  It is in His name, and for His purposes that I hope to share from my heart.  I believe the written word is powerful, as well as a love language of my Savior.  It was through his Word that I fell in love with him, and continue to be drawn to his heart daily.

As I begin to tread in this new world of blogging, I hope that you will be encouraged, edified, and challenged.  Here's to many more adventures, lessons, and glimpses into my heart as I work to cultivate the faith I long to work out with fear and trembling.  Please join me on the journey!